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“fascism – A system of government that exercises a dictatorship of the extreme right, typically through the merging of state and business leadership, together with belligerent nationalism.”

The American Heritage Dictionary, 1983

I went to the bank this morning to make a small deposit (I also wanted $40 cash back) and the teller told me my drivers license were expired. I thanked her for being observant and for alerting me of that fact. Her reply was a polite “you’re welcome” but she added “I can’t accept this as ID”

Well I thought “no problem”, I’ll just show her my visa bank card. No, that didn’t work because even though it had my signature and my name embossed on it, it lacked a photo. OK. How about my Sam’s Club card. No, that didn’t work because even though it had my photo on it, it was not considered a piece of primary identification.

I had never realized before that if you don’t go to college or work at some big corporation that issue photo IDs you will find it hard to come up with 2 pieces of picture identification.

I was getting frustrated, then I thought, “WAIT A MINUTE”. I had emptied my wallet. I had an American Express card, a Visa card, a Master Card, a Blue Cross insurance card, a Sam’s Club card (with photo), a Social Security card, a video store card, a check cashing card from the grocery store and a driver’s license (which the bank had accepted for identification twice since it expired). I asked, “with all this stuff that shows my name, address and signature (as well as photos), you don’t believe I am the person on this account”? Her reply was, “well sir, you could have gotten that stuff anywhere” I said, “yes, I stole all these documents from a guy that looks just like me and has the identical signature so I could steel $40 out of his checking account”.

Other waiting customers were growing inpatient and I really hate to demand to see the manager but I just had to do it this time.

The manager quickly came to her side, looked at my driver’s license and said go ahead and complete the transaction. The teller processed the deposit, gave me my $40 and said, “sorry for your wait”.

I reminded her that she had waited on me many times before. She said that yes, she remembered me but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that I didn’t have the proper identification.

Jerry Seinfeld had his Soup Nazi and now I guess I have my Gestapo Teller.

Copyright 2006 gary@listentomelater.com

Tonight as is was checking some things out on the Web, I heard the neighbor’s dog barking. It’s not unusual for him to raise a little hell when he spots a cat or rabbit but this time he seemed to be much more excited than usual.

I decided to check it out in case it was a prowler (there have been some reports of suspicious people in the neighborhood lately). I clicked off the light in my bedroom and peeked through the blinds.

I could see the dog jumping and growling. He was trying his best to get over the fence. I had never seen him that upset before. (more…)

An essay by Stephanie Rodriguez

I had come to church with Grandma because it had seemed important to her. Besides, it would be kind of fun. I hadn’t seen the place in twenty years. I looked up from the hymnal and noticed that some of the same people I had seen the last time I was here, were here now. “Some things never change.” I mused. And then again, some things do. The place itself had changed a great deal. There were new floors, new stained glass windows and much finery that I didn’t remember from my childhood. The new doors were huge, awesome, positively scary looking. They must’ve cost a fortune. No doubt the place was expensive; damned expensive. And the people, these same people as were here twenty years ago, were dressed magnificently. (more…)

Here is a great old humorous recording by Andy Griffith. It was made in the early 1950’s before he achieved stardom. It’s a spoof on Carmen (the opera). He is a funny guy. Just click the start button of the player below and enjoy!

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My friend Jim stopped by to visit this evening. I was in the middle of one of my favorite shows when he knocked on the door. I was a little irritated with the timing. After all it had been six months or more since I heard from him last and I wondered, why show up now.

I noticed that when I let him in he looked very pale and much thinner than the last time I saw him. I ask him if he was OK and told him that he didn’t look as if he felt well. He replied that he was fine but that he hadn’t slept well the night before. He said he was very tired. (more…)

1. “The unexamined life is not worth living” – Socrates (470-399 BCE)

Socrates’ [wiki] belief that we must reflect upon the life we live was partly inspired by the famous phrase inscribed at the shrine of the oracle at Delphi, “Know thyself.” The key to finding value in the prophecies of the oracle was self-knowledge, not a decoder ring.

Socrates felt so passionately about the value of self-examination that he closely examined not only his own beliefs and values but those of others as well. More precisely, through his relentless questioning, he forced people to examine their own beliefs. He saw the citizens of his beloved Athens sleepwalking through life, living only for money, power, and fame, so he became famous trying to help them.

2. “Entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily” – William of Ockham (1285 – 1349?)

Commonly known as Ockham’s razor, the idea here is that in judging among competing philosophical or scientific theories, all other things being equal, we should prefer the simplest theory. Scientists currently speak of four forces in the universe: gravity, the electromagnetic force, the strong nuclear force, and the weak nuclear force. Ockham [wiki] would certainly nod approvingly at the ongoing attempt to formulate a grand unified theory, a single force that encompasses all four.

The ultimate irony of Ockham’s razor may be that some have used it to prove God is unnecessary to the explanation of the universe, an idea Ockham the Franciscan priest would reject. (more…)

I’m sure everyone’s already read this. It has been passed through many office emails but here it is again in case you missed it.

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door
neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel. ”

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets
to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”

“It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.

“Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story : If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her
gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling
the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak”

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129

It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity. (more…)

If you are a baby boomer you will remember the ice cream vendors that rode the pedal powered carts. I think they were around until the mid 60’s. They would pedal through the neighborhoods ringing the bells that hung from the handlebars and some also blew on their whistle to announce their arrival.

Every kid on the block would rush to get their nickels and dimes so they could buy a frozen sweet treat.

In 1960 I was twelve years old and I thought that operating one of those pedal carts would be the best job in the world. After all ice cream sells itself and everyone would be happy to see you coming. Also you would have all those delicious frozen delights right at your fingertips. What could be better?

One day when one of the vendors came down my street I asked how one could get such a great job. He told me that the job was not that great and it was very hard work, but if I was interested and was at least twelve years old, I could go to a warehouse near down town and apply. He said they would take anyone who was old enough and had a social security card. (more…)

You will probably think I’m crazy for saying this, but aliens have been visiting my home for about the past three years. They have been coming at night while I sleep. I know it sounds weird but it’s true. Before you start thinking I’m some kind of nut-job let me explain. (more…)